Day 33-286.2 pounds

Up a little more, but again I am hoping that is because of "the week".  It is very discouraging, but I know I will have days or weeks like this, even if "the week" isn't the culprit.  I will keep on doing what I am doing, and I know I will see results eventually.  It's hard when you don't see the results you want and know you are working so hard for, not even in the mirror, but also on the scale!

 

This weekend is going to be a challenge.  We will be having a few people over to watch the Super Bowl, and of course there will be lots of yummy stuff to eat.  I will have some, I won't lie and say I won't eat any of it, but I will eat small portions, pay attention to my body, and if I am not hungry, I will not eat any more.  There will be no soda (unless someone else brings it for themselves to drink), as if there were soda in the house, I would drink a 6 pack in that one evening.  Hopefully, I stick to my guns, and don't pig out!  

  I chose to be fat the majority of my life.  I don't even remember the last time I was at or close to a "normal" weight.  My choice is to lose weight, then maintain that weight.  I choose to live longer, be healthier and love my kids and grandkids and hopefully great-grandkids!  

My towel (or usually my shirt, because I forget a towel EVERY DAY) is usually drenched.  How about yours?

I went into Wal-Mart last night for something AFTER my workout, and of course my hair is dripping, my shirt and pants are wet.  But you know what.... I didn't care.  And you know what else, no one else did either.  Don't make excuses about not working out.  "Oh, I have to go to the store" or I have errands to run.  I do too.  I have kids too.  But me taking the time out to do what I have to do for myself will benefit all my family in the long run!  You have to focus on your goals and what they will mean to you when you achieve those goals! 

Hope everyone has a great weekend!  GO GIANTS!!

 

Day 32-285.6 pounds

So, back up almost 1/2 pound since yesterday, but it is getting to be "the week" so I am sure I have some water retention going on.  Not discouraged, but disappointed, as anyone would be, I'm sure!

Absolutely not!  I am going to fight like hell until I can't fight any longer.  That's what I am going to do!  

Went to Zumba class last night.  I had fun!  I was a little proud of myself when I was keeping up pretty well with some of the others that had done the dances before.  There are some things I can't do because of my knee issues, but still was able to find a way to do the "same" moves, only lower impact.  I was a little disappointed, though.  I am sure it is because I was learning the steps instead of just doing them, but I didn't sweat very much.  I am used to walking out of the gym with my hair almost DRENCHED in sweat.  Last night it was barely wet.  I loved doing it, don't get me wrong!  Just don't know if I "worked" enough last night.

Another night at the gym (of course).  Tonight is cardio and strength training.  Will try to push out 4 sets tonight.  I probably could have done 4 Tuesday, but the gym was packed and I had a hard time getting the equipment and space I needed.  I did my rounds, but was a few minutes in between on some, and I had a time constraint, so I had to quit when I had to quit.  But again, still finished 3, so tonight, if it's not quite as busy, I may be able to do 4 rounds!  

I haven't been posting my food on here, and that is only because I have been a little time constricted on writing.  I have still been trying to eat 5 meals a day at 300 each.  It keeps getting harder and harder to do.  Today, I had my breakfast, and by 11:00 (which is time for my 2nd meal), I was busy, and not all that hungry, so I didn't eat.  But by the time noon rolled around (my lunch break), I was starved.  So I am actually eating lunch on my lunch break today! LOL  I don't know if the 5 meal thing is going to work.  I find myself more satiated when I eat larger meals, with the small snacks.  I will find something that works for me, but it may be some more trial and error!  


I watched most of a show last night on TLC, and it was called "My 600-Pound Life).  This lady started off at 600 pounds, had gastric bypass, lost 200 pounds, had a skin removal/liposuction surgery, lost another 80 pounds on that, kept losing weight because of the bypass, and some more surgeries, and by her last surgery (to remove the "saddle bags") she weighed 285.  THAT IS WHAT I WEIGH!!!  And she still looked so big!  I know I am a big girl, and I know people carry their weight different, but WOW!!  I guess I need to look at my pictures again.  Because I just don't see it.  Not really in denial, but again I say, I don't think I look like that!  If I do, that is fine, I understand I have a lot to lose... I was also a little disturbed by the show, though.  She had a posterboard of what she weighs and numbers leading down to the weight she wants to be, and then marking them off as she achieves those numbers.... however, her goal weight was 124!  She seemed to be a pretty tall lady.  I am only 5'4" and I don't think I will reach 124 and be healthy!!  Just kinda disappointed that her doctor either didn't know about her goal, or was OK with it.  Anyway, I missed the last part of the show, but she seemed to give up, as she was hospitalized because she was not eating and/or drinking and had malnourished herself enough that her last surgery wounds wouldn't heal, and had been in the hospital over a month because of it!


Just one last thought before I leave you today!  This is not easy.  This is not a piece of cake, no matter how bad you want to dig into one!  LOL.  It takes time, it takes determination and dedication and HARD WORK!  That's what it takes to be GREAT!

Day 31-285.2 pounds

Down a little over a 1/2 pound since yesterday!  But down another whole pound from my starting weight, so another stone in the pounds lost jar for me!!


I am having a little trouble sticking to the 5 meals a day at 300 calories per meal.  Either I eat something that is not 300 calories, or something that is over.  Yesterday, I only made it to 4 meals, but my dinner was 500.  I just was not hungry, and my 4th meal comes around 4:00 which is only an hour before I hit the gym.  Didn't want to eat anything (not only because I wasn't hungry) and upset my stomach while working out.  


I will be going to Zumba tonight with a couple people from work.  It should be fun, hopefully since it is the first class we will not be totally out-danced by the other people there...LOL.  I love to dance, just wish there was more places to go to do the dancing I like!


Nothing else really going on.  Got a message from the trainer that she had some ideas for "the week" for eating, etc.  I might share, depending on how good they are, HA HA!  Just kidding, I will share, I know we can use all the help we can get!  


Another friend of mine is going to make the weight loss jars, I am trying to hook her up with some jars to use.  She says she wants to lose 100, so we are about in the same boat.  It seems to be helping me, I get excited when I get to put another one over!  Will be measuring and weighing in again at the gym next Friday, the 10th.  I will see if I can get use of a computer to update on Saturday!  Hoping for some GOOD numbers!  


Kinda in a hurry today, so that is all for now!  Have a great day, and enjoy the weather (at least here), because it is GORGEOUS!!!

Day 30-285.8

Down another pound since yesterday.  Another stone in the pounds lost jar!!

Up to 103 views of my post from Friday.  Amazing!!  Someone posted a story on our Facebook group with the same name, and one of the things to keep you on track is to use the scale to keep you on track.  I weigh everyday, just so I know whether something I ate the day before maybe didn't mesh well with my plan.  You have to be in the right mind to be able to weigh everyday.  You have to know there is going to be some fluctuation in that number no matter what.  If you are going to break down into tears because you are up 0.2 from the day before, weighing everyday is probably not for you.  I am definitely not saying I don't get upset or frustrated if it doesn't always go down, but I know that I will do something different or change my routine up a bit to compensate for whatever it was that knocked it off kilter.  I am saying this because, as most women reading this, we all have that time of the month when no matter if we are eating crackers and water the scale moves up.  (Not that that's what we eat, cuz we gotta have the CHOCOLATE, people!!)  Mine is upcoming, and I am getting a bit nervous about the reflection on the scale.  But I will deal with it, and hope it stays the same at least!  I am determined!!

 

 I am striving for more each and every day.  Because each and every day I make good choices adds years onto the end of my life.  Instead of dying at 65 from heart disease, I may now make it to the ripe old age of 75.  Ten more years of life has a lot of potential!  I am losing (hopefully ALOT), but gaining so much more!!

I am a work in progress, and I know it will take time, and I am ok with that.  I just know that I will finish what I start.  I am a good person and I deserve to be healthy.  My kids deserve to grow up with a mother that can play with them.  All too soon they won't want to anymore!  This is my time, and I have to do what I need to do to make myself healthy!  

My husband has been super supportive, and has loved me no matter what size I am.  He is one of the only people I have ever met that what I looked like never mattered.  And when you go through school being overweight and having glasses and braces, you know just a little about being judged on how you look.  I am so thankful for my husband and the love and support that he gives me every day.  I don't know if I could do this without him!

Day 29-286.8 pounds

Down just a little from Friday.  But I am down 6 pounds since last Monday!!  I was so AMAZED when I looked over the weekend to see how many page views I had.  Normally I have about 15-35, Friday's post had 95 views! 

This weekend went pretty well.  Ate all regular food (besides a SF Shake yesterday for breakfast) and still kept it under my calorie goal.  Had Mexican for lunch on Friday, had a New York dog from Sonic for dinner, total for the day was 1513.  Saturday, had an egg sandwich for breakfast, a grilled chicken sandwich and some fries from Wendy's, and cube steak and broccoli cheese rice for dinner (with a few snacks), for a total of 1292.  Yesterday was my shake, BBQ meatballs and (baked) fries for lunch and a chicken quesadilla for dinner, with a total of 1485.  I feel much better, not as sluggish as I have been in the morning.

My husband and I went to the gym Friday night.  I walked, but per my trainer I should be pushing myself more, so did a little faster than normal and an incline I haven't even attempted yet.  Then Saturday, we went again, I walked (interval, pushing myself) and did 3 sets of my strength training, instead of my normal 2.  I was so sore yesterday, it was just crazy!

But I feel better when I can eat with my family, and not feel left out or deprived.  Of course, while I was logging my calories at Wendy's, I was also looking up what the boy's were eating, and told them what calorie intake they were consuming.... GLAD I DIDN'T ORDER ANY OF THAT!!!

Again, for those of you that eat quite a bit of fast food, I really recommend the documentary, Super Size Me.  When we watched it, we definitely cut down on our eating fast food, and even though we still eat out like that sometimes, we don't order as much as we did then, and definitely not as often!

Got my motivation jars done this weekend, after a couple trial and errors!  So, I put 125 marbles in the pounds to lose jar, and already moved 9 marbles in the pounds lost jar!  So, even if I don't feel the weight being gone, or seeing it in how my clothes feel, I can see it in the jars!

I am still positive thinking.  I really don't have to try anymore.  I enjoy (for the most part) going to the gym.  Or maybe enjoy is not the right word yet, more like accustomed to going.  It is just a part of my routine now.  It would be bad if I backslid and skipped a day, as I would have to pass the gym on my way home, and I know I would just feel horrible...so there is more motivation to go, than not to go!

I am still a little frustrated that I am still SO worn out after I work out.  Not really worn out, but sore and feeble.  After I go home, cook dinner and sit for a little bit, I feel as if I can't get up!  I have had issues when I get up in the morning, that my feet and ankles are so sore, that I can hardly walk on them first thing.  My husband tells me it will get easier and I won't feel those "creaks" as much as time goes on, but it still feels so hard!

  

So, I will just keep pushing, and hope each tomorrow gets better (and easier)!!  I am so tired of being in the position I am in, so tired of feeling the way I have.  I am so tired of starting over!

So I will make my treks to the gym.  I am going to start Zumba classes this Wednesday!  I am excited, I can't wait.  Anything to make it more fun, and I LOVE to dance!  

Trying my 5 meals a day today.  It's a little different, and a little more difficult to get into the routine, but hopefully this will help.  Hope everyone has a great afternoon!  Keep on keepin' on!

Day 26-287 pounds

Down 0.7 pounds since yesterday!  YAY!!  Did my strength training and cardio last night.  I think I sweated more last night than I have any other time... even when Robin was going over the exercises with me!  

Food for yesterday:
8am-SF Cappuccino (190)
10am- rice cakes and cheese stick (140)
noon-SF meal bar (200)
7pm-whole wheat pasta, marinara, chix sausage & cheese stick (540)
9pm-Yogurt pretzels (100)

I also had a great chat with Robin last night at the gym about my food, and actually trying to eat real stuff! 

So, I took the "before" photos taken last night, my husband is a little leery of me posting them on this blog, doesn't want someone to fall deeply in love with me and become a stalker!  I doubt that will happen, and don't post really personal stuff, so I think I will be ok.  LOL

So here are the pictures....  They completely disgust me, but change will come!!

Well, there they are!  Again, all I can say is WOW!!!

I think that is all I have for today.  Nothing new really.  Had a cup of coffee this morning for the first time in almost a month.  And a protein bar, and I am just now (11:45) starting to get hungry.  I brought a greek yogurt to eat too, but was not hungry enough this morning to eat it along with the other.

And I had it pointed out that there are more than 5 of you out there reading, hope everyone knew that was a joke!  I really appreciate the support I am getting.  On the blog I can see how many views my page gets per day, and the countries that are reading.  I have readers in USA of course, including Alaska, and I have had about 14 page views from Germany... crazy!

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!  I plan on watching Paranormal Activity 3 sometime this weekend, have been waiting awhile to watch!  Have a great day! Keep on truckin!

Day 25-287.8 pounds

I continue to lose weight, even if it is just a a 1/2 pound here and there.  Which is GREAT!!  Being a instant gratification person, I get frustrated when it doesn't move or moves up, so even if it is just 0.2 pounds different from yesterday, I am still seeing results.

I have made a couple decisions regarding my food intake and my journey itself.  I have decided that after the shakes I have already on hand, I will transition back to regular food, and just work on portion control and lower fat & calorie choices.  The shakes are (at least I seem to think) making me a bit sluggish.  Also, I am having some internal issues, kinda makes me feel like I have some sort of bladder infection or something.  My trainer told me that may be because of the sugar content of the shakes.  I have known people in the past that have used them, and had serious issues.  I may use them as a supplement or a quick meal if I don't have time, but don't think they are going to be the majority of my diet.  So please, feel free to send recipes my way for anything you might think I could use!

I am going to be working with my weight again tonight.  I call them weights, but seems that is not really the word for it, I like the words strength training better.  I don't feel as I am lifting weights, I feel as if I am gaining strength.  My knees have been bothering me a bit the last 2 days, more the "good" one than the "bad" one.  But I will push my hardest tonight and hope it doesn't kill me!

I bought a shirt from someone on a facebook yard sale site the other day.  It was listed as a 24 or 2X.  I figured it would be big enough, so I bought it sight unseen and without trying it on.  This is not the first time I have bought clothes without trying it on, as I am sure many of you have done too.  However, when I went to try it on at home, the size was only a 14-16.  WAY too small!  I couldn't even get it over my shoulders.  I have so many clothes that I have bought, and they were too small, and I have just sitting in my closet, waiting for the day that I might be able to fit into them!  So, I guess I will just add that to the pile, and at least I will have a new wardrobe just waiting for me when I do lose to whatever size it is that I have waiting... there are several sizes!!  LOL.

It has been so long since I have been at a healthy weight, I will be a whole new person when that time comes.  I will definitely need help to maintain and function at a weight I have never been in my adult life! 

So, the other decision I have made is that I am going to post some "before" photos on this blog.  I figure if I am going to go thru such a change in my body (hopefully in the year I have as my goal) that I need to give my readers (all 5 of you...LOL) the visual of the change.  I am super scared about that, but figure it is something that I should do. 

I hope you all appreciate that sacrifice I am willing to make.  I don't normally like to have my photo taken at all, but now I am offering to post a picture of my body, obviously not nude, but in shorts and a short top, so you can see all the fat that I have to lose.  SCARY!! :-O

I think that is all I have for today.  Hope everyone keeps plugging along!  It's a long journey for some of us, a shorter journey for others.... but a journey nonetheless!