Day 59-279.6 pounds!!

So, down a whole pound from yesterday.  I am now in the 270's.  I haven't been here in a couple years probably.  I didn't weigh myself for awhile, so I don't really know what I weighed like every month for the past several years.  But when I was working out and losing a couple years ago, I got down to 272.  I am so excited!  There are now 16 stones in my "pounds lost" jar, and they keep moving faster and faster!  

I felt much better after going to the gym last night.  I just walked, and only for about 35 minutes, but I got a good sweat going!  Tonight is really going to kill me, going to try my strength training workouts tonight.  I am a little nervous about that!  I feel like I am almost starting over, having missed almost a week of working out.  

Yesterday I sent my food to my trainer in the circle, and she sent a message back, "how would you rate your food choices today?"  Ummm, crappy, considering I ate at the Mexican restaurant and ate the WHOLE taco salad.... comes out to about 800 calories.  WOW!  Even though I knew it was too much, I still ate the whole thing.  And then of course I was miserable yesterday afternoon, my stomach so full.  She has been telling me of the "sigh" technique.  This is just to eat until you sigh, then maybe one or two more bites, or finish there.  This came from some European that was fit as all get out, and this was his fitness routine.  I had tried it before, and just never noticed myself sighing... I tried it last night, tried to pay more attention to what was going on, and it happened.  I took one more bite, and then was done.  And I was full.  Not over-full, not under-full, just full.  So, just paying more attention helps!

 

This is something every one of us need to remember.  I am not a full-time emotional eater, but it does happen.  I am more of a peer pressure eater.  I do eat sometimes when emotional, that time of the month craving chocolate or Ched'R Peppers.  And I do eat them, but I find myself limiting and watching the calorie count, and not hating myself after I do indulge.  So many people out there eat when they are sad, or upset, angry.  I am more of a BORED emotional eater.  I may be having a lazy day at home, with nothing else to do but make a batch of brownies, then eat half of them.  So, I try not to keep that in the house.  I will occasionally buy sweets, but they are either portioned out, or made and hidden from my sight...LOL.  My husband and my kids still eat that stuff occasionally, and I have been really good at not indulging just because it's there.  

I am so excited about making it to the 270's.  I know I am right over the line, but the weight is consistently going down, not up and down like it was.  If I knew or realized how good it makes me feel to workout, or how easy it is to NOT overeat, I would have done it years ago!  It's really not that hard.  Still have what you want, just don't eat the whole bag of chips, or the whole block of cheese.  You still get that satisfaction of eating the things  you crave, but not the disappointment of feeling sick afterward, or the scale saying a pound or two more than the last time!  Start changing your life today!  There is NO REASON you should not be out there doing something to prolong your life.  I know you have as much as I do to live for!  Whether or not you have kids, you have friends and family and co-workers who love you and care about you!  So, get up and get moving.  

DO IT TODAY! 

 

Day 58-280.6 pounds

Down a bit again from yesterday.  Very excited that I made it past a weekend without gaining what I had lost back!  Found a new weight loss tracker that I am really diggin'!!  It is called "myfitnesspal" and I can track not only my own weight loss and food, but my friends as well!  I am already part of the accountability circle with my trainer, but this is so much easier!!!  And exciting, you can comment on others progress or lack thereof, to offer support and such!  I am so glad I found that!  I already have several friends on my list, what a great support!

I am really missing the gym.  I am kinda scared to get back to it now, I have not been since Wednesday of last week.  The gym is gonna kick my butt, I am sure.  I do have some things to do this evening again, and things that have to get done.  But I am going to do my best to get there!  My husband is having some issues with his knees and his shoulder was hurting the other day, but he has missed the gym as much as I have, so his body is feeling that.  I am not feeling bad, but I can tell I haven't been there in awhile!  I guess I need to do this:

  

 I am sure my butt would be thoroughly kicked after she got done with it.  She is such a hardass.  But, times like these I need someone to tell me to get my butt in there, and just do it!  It's not like I am making excuses for not being there.  I really have had other stuff to do, that had to be done.  But there is no excuse for not going Friday, Saturday or Sunday of this past week.  I had nothing to do....and that's what I did!  

It amazes me that I have kept going down.  I am not going to take advantage of it.  I have been eating pretty good, watching portions and all that.  I guess I can only have the motivation to do one thing at a time.  I am motivated with this weight loss, but now can't motivate myself with my recipes, or my coupons, or my housework for that matter.  It's not that I am too tired to do it.  It's just that I don't feel like it.  I would rather take my "down time" as just that.  I don't want to go through coupons while I am sitting there resting.  I am sure I will get around to it, but right now, I guess it's not a priority.

This is kinda short today, a little pressed on time.  Hope everyone is having a marvelous day.  And if you are in the Missouri area, hope you are enjoying the 70 degree temps today!  It is a gorgeous day!

 

Day 57- 281.8 pounds

Didn't quite make it to the 279's, but at least I didn't tragically wreck it and go up over the weekend!  Pretty stoked about that.  Didn't eat as well as I should have, and only worked out 2 days last week.  I am pretty excited that I didn't gain 10 pounds!  I watched my portions pretty well, didn't eat too much junk food.  Did eat out alot (very busy weekend), but still watched the portions, and chose better for me than I would have 3 months ago.

You know, at some point in time I have tried probably 90% of the "miracle diets" out there.  I have been on the cabbage soup diet.  I have tried low carb. I have done almost every "miracle PILL" they have marketed.  And I have had some success with each of these.  But the second you forget to take the pill, or don't have cabbage soup handy to eat, the weight just BALLOONS back on.  Why is it that it took so long for me to realize I just have to have some self control, and work hard?  I lost 20 pounds in one month one time from phentermine (the better part of the fen-phen pill of long ago).  I was working out at the same time, but I just didn't eat.  That medicine makes you not hungry.  When I was by myself, I had to make myself eat something so I wouldn't pass out.  REALLY?!?  How stupid can we be sometimes?  Like the HCG stuff.  I have tried that too.  In fact, I have two partial bottles of the liquid in my medicine cabinet.  Yes, I lost weight.  Yes, it was over 10 pounds a week.  Yes, I had headaches the whole time.  Yes, I was GROUCHY the whole time.  Could I stick to it for the whole 40 day cycle.  HELL NO!  I think the most I lasted was about 15 days.  By the end of that my husband was like, it's me or the HCG....OK not really, but almost.  Alli, Relacore, Slim Fast, Slim Quick, Fastin.... take me down a "weight loss aid" aisle at almost any drugstore, I can tell you I have tried it all!  They all work, while you are taking them.  The second you forget to take one (which happens to me ALL THE TIME), you gain, and gain, and gain... til you are right back where you started.  Please say no to these!  I promise they don't work in the long term!

You have to work for what you want!  You don't get to sit on your butt at home watching TV and draw a paycheck (or at least not most of us...LOL), right?  You don't get to ring a little bell and have your maid bring you your drinks, dinner, come prop your feet up, right?  No.  You have to get off your butt and do something to get the things you want!  Same principle here.  You have to go to the gym (or home gym), you have to eat right, you have to work hard!  I have lost about 15 pounds now in the last 2 months.  Which is averaging about 2 pounds a week (even though some weeks more than others...), which is a healthy rate at which to lose.  Everyone keeps telling me, the slower I lose it, the longer I will keep it off.  They may think they are helping when they say that, but again.... me being an instant gratification person, if it takes me too long to lose it in the first place, it may not COME OFF!  I am looking at this and trying to tell myself that as long as the scale moves down, it doesn't matter how fast.  I am hoping that keeps working!  It has so far.  I have pretty much kept on track.  Been working out consistently, been eating much better than I used to, and getting better at the portion control.  Still a work in progress, but it is working!

Baseball practices and games should be starting soon.  I am hoping that I can still get to the gym on those nights, my husband is coaching, so if I leave the boys with him, hopefully I can still get my workouts in...on nights I plan on walking, I can do that at the park....  Just gotta make it work.  There are other people busier than me that can make it to the gym, just have to make it a priority and not let things get in the way!  

Hope everyone has a wonderful week.  See ya tomorrow!!

 

Day 54-282 pounds

Down a bit from yesterday!  This has been a good week!  Even with not making it to the gym those two nights because of kid activities!  I have not been feeling the best this week, but my appetite has been about the same.  My hands were a little swollen this morning, but they are down now.  Down so much that my rings are all loose.  

I still have trouble with the portion control.  I am pretty good when I am at home, or if I bring something to work with me, but my problem lies with eating out.  Fast food is not so bad, try to order a salad or grilled chicken then take it home.  But when I go to a restaurant, take today for example.... went to a Mexican restaurant.  The bad thing is the dang chips and salsa.... The salsa is great, but the chips are so bad.... you can see the grease dripping off some of them!  Why is it so hard to say no?  Just because it is right there in front of you face, I guess.  So I had some chips and salsa, and a taco salad, which again-not horrible- but of course I ate the whole thing.  I don't know on the calorie count, but I'm sure it was way too much.  And now, my stomach is rolling.  It's like it is revolting against the food.  Telling me that I am an idiot, and why did you eat so much?!?  I will get the hang of this.  I know alot of "dieters" suggestions are to get a to-go container before you even start eating, put half of the entree in there, and out of sight.  I have said I was going to do this, but then when I get there, and order, I just eat... I will get this right eventually.  Hopefully, my indulgence today will not hinder the progress I have made this week.  I will kick myself in the behind, for punishment as well as to just move me forward.  I can't dwell on this, even though I know it was wrong.  I will move on, make good choices, and learn portion control and healthy eating!  Just hard to get out of the habit.  Even if it does make me feel physically horrible after.  I just don't get that!  

 

We don't really have any plans this weekend.  I am just an unorganized person.  I have meant to get recipes in order, plan out meals, get my coupons sorted (to save money, of course), but that hasn't happened.  I am making it to the gym every day, so I have gotten into the habit of that.  I just haven't really had the motivation to do any of the other stuff I had on the to-do list.

I am hoping everyone has a wonderful weekend.  I will try my very best not to ruin the good thing that has happened this week.  I would love to be in the 270's by Monday!  What a great day that would be!  

  I have begun, therefore I WILL SUCCEED!! 

Day 53-282.8 pounds

Down another whole pound since yesterday.  YAY!!  I haven't been retaining water like I had been.  Last week and before, I would wake up and my hands almost hurt because they were so swollen.  This week has been different.  I wake up and they are NORMAL!!  Not sure what the difference is, haven't really been doing anything different, but...


Worked out with a friend last night.  She is kinda like me when I first started, very self conscious about going to the gym and working out beside the fit people.  I told her that you can't think like that, you just gotta get in there and do what you need to do for you.  I have been going to the gym consistently for almost 2 months now, and have never had the feeling that someone is watching me, or if they are watching me, it's not in a negative way.  The other people don't care what you look like.  They are there to their thing, you have to be there to do yours.  That's what matters.


I have been pretty good with my food choices.  I have girl scout cookies someone gave me, and I should have said no, should have given them to someone else, but I just can't.  So I have been eating them, but I have been sticking to the portions listed on the box.  Everything you might want is acceptable, as long as it is in moderation.  That is the hardest thing to learn for me.   Normally, I could sit down with a box of Caramel Delights (Samoas) and eat the whole thing in one sitting.  Who knew that a serving size is ONLY 2 COOKIES?!?!  I have learned to read labels, watching the calories, fat, and sodium for the most part.  I have to remember that I am not super-human, I will make mistakes.  You cannot dwell on that.  You have to forgive yourself and just move on.  That's what I have never done in the past.  I ruined a diet, so I quit the diet.  I ate bad for one day, or one meal, and just gave up!

We all deserve to be fit and healthy.  We all make our own choices and those choices decide how we live.  Do you want to live life on the sidelines?  I have two growing boys, who are VERY active.  I love watching their games, but I would love to be able to help them practice.  I don't want to live on the sidelines anymore.  I want to be a mom that my kids can tell their friends about.... my mom (and dad, of course) took us on an awesome hike, or.... my mom & dad played catch with us for hours, or.... you get the drift!  


If you are not working for something you want, then you don't deserve it.  You have to know your own worth.  I want this goal so bad, and I will work my tail off to achieve it and maintain it.  I deserve to be fit.  I will WORK to be fit.  

I want to be the person I am inside.  I want to be the person my husband tells me everyday that I am (he sees it, I believe him, but don't really feel it...).  My husband has loved me through thick and thin.  Mostly thick, as even when we started dating I was overweight.  He has always told me I am a beautiful and sexy woman.  And I am glad that is what he sees.  Because I would never want him to see me through my eyes.  But I am gaining the self worth, I am gaining the self-confidence.  It is nowhere near perfect, but it is better than it was a year ago.  I haven't been "fit" or "skinny" since I was in grade school (like 2nd grade), so I don't know what I CAN look like.  At the end of my journey, no matter what the scale says, I will be proud of what I have accomplished.  I will eventually be "FIT", even if the scale doesn't go as low as my expectations.  


It is a gorgeous day in the Ozarks today.  Hope everyone can get outside and enjoy the weather.  Another round of scooter soccer for us tonight.  Have a great day!  

Day 52- 283.8 pounds

Down about 1.5 pounds from yesterday.  This is a good sign!  Unfortunately I am not feeling the best today.  I think this gorgeous weather we are having is messing with my sinuses.  My nose is stopped up, my eyes are heavy.  Took all I had to get out of bed this morning and get moving!  Taking some over the counter sinus medicine, so hopefully that makes it all better.  My husband asked if I wanted to skip the gym tonight because I was feeling bad, and I told him no.  I had seen a picture on Pinterest that I was trying to find to post, but it eludes me.  It says, "don't just workout on the days you feel well" or something along those lines.  Even though I don't feel the best, I still want to go.  It makes me feel good when I go.  Also, skipping two days already this week for the kiddos kinda scares me!  So I will trudge along!

I am going to keep this pretty short today!  Just a quick update on how things are going, and I already accomplished that in the previous paragraph!  LOL

I have gotten so many suggestions from people trying to help.  Did a callout on my facebook the other day about needing recipes, and have some great things to search on and try out!  One that sounds very intriguing is the skinnygirl.com.  I have seen some things in the store and online about this site (she also has cookbooks, etc), so I am excited about searching for things I already make, but can make healthier for me and my family.  

Today is a new day.  Rejoice and be glad in it!  Tomorrow is not promised, so do everything in your power to make yourself proud of YOU today!  You are in control of what you put and don't put into your body.  You make YOU!

 

Day 51-285.4 pounds

Down a bit from yesterday.   Probably all the crap I ate getting out of my system.  Did better yesterday, still munched on some girl scout cookies, but I stopped myself at 3.   That was a ginormous feat!  

Not going to be able to go to the gym 2 nights this week.  Our boys have scooter soccer tournaments on Tuesday and Thursday nights.  If you have never witnessed a scooter soccer tournament of school aged kids, I invite you to come if possible.  They are great fun to watch (most of the time).  That event is almost as sacred as football here!

But anyway, not going to the gym those nights kinda scares me.  I have a workout dvd I can do at home, but don't get the "sweat" that I do when working at the gym.  I am going to definitely have to watch what I eat the next few days, so those days of no gym time don't catch up to me!

This is something my trainer gave me, as my fitness prayer for my journey.  I made it pretty!  And already 12 people have reposted it on Pinterest.  It's doing alot of good, Robin!  Thanks!!

 

I am trying my best, and I have to remember sometimes that may just not be good enough.  Sometimes those bad decisions overcome you.  Still my decisions, but sometimes the devil wins, as with other things in life.  I will take this past lump with the best of the worst.  I will train my body to crave carrots instead of cookies.  I will do my homework, I will find those recipes that will make my choices much easier.  Those are things I have to do to get what I want.  If you do the things you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten.  I haven't watched what I ate and I got fat.  I am watching what I eat, changing what I eat, and will get the healthy and fit body I know is hiding behind this fat!

 I am done taking the easy way out.  I will try my hardest to not go through the drive-thru because I don't feel like cooking.  I will try my hardest to choose healthy at home and out.  I won't promise I won't choose wrong, but I do promise to make the better choices more often!  

  Your body is a temple.  You should take care of it, feed it to fuel it, not to waste it.  I will have to remember that!  I am really paying the price for the Chinese food I ate yesterday.  My stomach feels like a garbage disposal today.... not good!

Well, I hope everyone has a wonderful day!  It is a gorgeous one here in the Ozarks!  60's for tomorrow!  What a great February!

Thanks for all the support.