Long Time No See

It has been awhile since I have posted on here.  Just thought I would write a quick note to let you know I am still alive!  I have still been drinking my shakes, most days twice a day, sometimes once a day.   The problem has been that I have been at the ball field most nights of the week, busy catching up on housework on the weekends (as well as trying to catch up rest, sleep and sanity.  Had some changes at work, so now I am training a new person to do my old job, as well as learning a new position, and working an extra hour a day there. 

As well as the fact that I have not been eating dinners and snacks like I should.  Have been eating junk food, drinking soda and sweet tea.

I am over 6 months into this year, and have only lost a total of probably 10 pounds.  I have not weighed recently, so that may not even be accurate.  I am so disappointed in myself, but life has gotten in the way so many times, that it is easier to just give in. 

Willpower is a problem.  Especially for me.  I know I have to make getting fit my life, but I have lived 33 years unfit, and the change is hard.  I never said it was going to be easy, and I am ready to make the change.  I see the difference in my body now that I have gained some of the weight back.  I feel like my stomach sticks out even more than it used to.  It makes me sick.  But I feel so defeated.  I am getting up at 5:30 am to be at work early, getting off at 5:00 pm, either to the ball fields or home first, then to the fields, practice for 2 hours, then home for dinner and trying to relax a bit before bed. 

We have a little over 2 more weeks of baseball.  I am hoping once that slows down a bit, I can get back into the gym after workdays.  I was trying to go in the morning, but that only happened two or three times, then kaput.

I don't know if anyone is still reading this, but if you are please know that I know that you are probably going through the same things I am.  And you are probably making time for the gym, and I am not.  I know alot of people out there who make time, but I just can't seem to right now.  I know part of that is my energy levels, and most of that problem is my diet.  I will change it, but for now convenience food is of course more convenient. 

Don't give up on me.  I haven't given up on myself, even though I don't like the choices I am making and am disappointed in myself.  I will keep on trying, and will succeed eventually!