Day 59-279.6 pounds!!

So, down a whole pound from yesterday.  I am now in the 270's.  I haven't been here in a couple years probably.  I didn't weigh myself for awhile, so I don't really know what I weighed like every month for the past several years.  But when I was working out and losing a couple years ago, I got down to 272.  I am so excited!  There are now 16 stones in my "pounds lost" jar, and they keep moving faster and faster!  

I felt much better after going to the gym last night.  I just walked, and only for about 35 minutes, but I got a good sweat going!  Tonight is really going to kill me, going to try my strength training workouts tonight.  I am a little nervous about that!  I feel like I am almost starting over, having missed almost a week of working out.  

Yesterday I sent my food to my trainer in the circle, and she sent a message back, "how would you rate your food choices today?"  Ummm, crappy, considering I ate at the Mexican restaurant and ate the WHOLE taco salad.... comes out to about 800 calories.  WOW!  Even though I knew it was too much, I still ate the whole thing.  And then of course I was miserable yesterday afternoon, my stomach so full.  She has been telling me of the "sigh" technique.  This is just to eat until you sigh, then maybe one or two more bites, or finish there.  This came from some European that was fit as all get out, and this was his fitness routine.  I had tried it before, and just never noticed myself sighing... I tried it last night, tried to pay more attention to what was going on, and it happened.  I took one more bite, and then was done.  And I was full.  Not over-full, not under-full, just full.  So, just paying more attention helps!

 

This is something every one of us need to remember.  I am not a full-time emotional eater, but it does happen.  I am more of a peer pressure eater.  I do eat sometimes when emotional, that time of the month craving chocolate or Ched'R Peppers.  And I do eat them, but I find myself limiting and watching the calorie count, and not hating myself after I do indulge.  So many people out there eat when they are sad, or upset, angry.  I am more of a BORED emotional eater.  I may be having a lazy day at home, with nothing else to do but make a batch of brownies, then eat half of them.  So, I try not to keep that in the house.  I will occasionally buy sweets, but they are either portioned out, or made and hidden from my sight...LOL.  My husband and my kids still eat that stuff occasionally, and I have been really good at not indulging just because it's there.  

I am so excited about making it to the 270's.  I know I am right over the line, but the weight is consistently going down, not up and down like it was.  If I knew or realized how good it makes me feel to workout, or how easy it is to NOT overeat, I would have done it years ago!  It's really not that hard.  Still have what you want, just don't eat the whole bag of chips, or the whole block of cheese.  You still get that satisfaction of eating the things  you crave, but not the disappointment of feeling sick afterward, or the scale saying a pound or two more than the last time!  Start changing your life today!  There is NO REASON you should not be out there doing something to prolong your life.  I know you have as much as I do to live for!  Whether or not you have kids, you have friends and family and co-workers who love you and care about you!  So, get up and get moving.  

DO IT TODAY! 

 

Day 58-280.6 pounds

Down a bit again from yesterday.  Very excited that I made it past a weekend without gaining what I had lost back!  Found a new weight loss tracker that I am really diggin'!!  It is called "myfitnesspal" and I can track not only my own weight loss and food, but my friends as well!  I am already part of the accountability circle with my trainer, but this is so much easier!!!  And exciting, you can comment on others progress or lack thereof, to offer support and such!  I am so glad I found that!  I already have several friends on my list, what a great support!

I am really missing the gym.  I am kinda scared to get back to it now, I have not been since Wednesday of last week.  The gym is gonna kick my butt, I am sure.  I do have some things to do this evening again, and things that have to get done.  But I am going to do my best to get there!  My husband is having some issues with his knees and his shoulder was hurting the other day, but he has missed the gym as much as I have, so his body is feeling that.  I am not feeling bad, but I can tell I haven't been there in awhile!  I guess I need to do this:

  

 I am sure my butt would be thoroughly kicked after she got done with it.  She is such a hardass.  But, times like these I need someone to tell me to get my butt in there, and just do it!  It's not like I am making excuses for not being there.  I really have had other stuff to do, that had to be done.  But there is no excuse for not going Friday, Saturday or Sunday of this past week.  I had nothing to do....and that's what I did!  

It amazes me that I have kept going down.  I am not going to take advantage of it.  I have been eating pretty good, watching portions and all that.  I guess I can only have the motivation to do one thing at a time.  I am motivated with this weight loss, but now can't motivate myself with my recipes, or my coupons, or my housework for that matter.  It's not that I am too tired to do it.  It's just that I don't feel like it.  I would rather take my "down time" as just that.  I don't want to go through coupons while I am sitting there resting.  I am sure I will get around to it, but right now, I guess it's not a priority.

This is kinda short today, a little pressed on time.  Hope everyone is having a marvelous day.  And if you are in the Missouri area, hope you are enjoying the 70 degree temps today!  It is a gorgeous day!

 

Day 57- 281.8 pounds

Didn't quite make it to the 279's, but at least I didn't tragically wreck it and go up over the weekend!  Pretty stoked about that.  Didn't eat as well as I should have, and only worked out 2 days last week.  I am pretty excited that I didn't gain 10 pounds!  I watched my portions pretty well, didn't eat too much junk food.  Did eat out alot (very busy weekend), but still watched the portions, and chose better for me than I would have 3 months ago.

You know, at some point in time I have tried probably 90% of the "miracle diets" out there.  I have been on the cabbage soup diet.  I have tried low carb. I have done almost every "miracle PILL" they have marketed.  And I have had some success with each of these.  But the second you forget to take the pill, or don't have cabbage soup handy to eat, the weight just BALLOONS back on.  Why is it that it took so long for me to realize I just have to have some self control, and work hard?  I lost 20 pounds in one month one time from phentermine (the better part of the fen-phen pill of long ago).  I was working out at the same time, but I just didn't eat.  That medicine makes you not hungry.  When I was by myself, I had to make myself eat something so I wouldn't pass out.  REALLY?!?  How stupid can we be sometimes?  Like the HCG stuff.  I have tried that too.  In fact, I have two partial bottles of the liquid in my medicine cabinet.  Yes, I lost weight.  Yes, it was over 10 pounds a week.  Yes, I had headaches the whole time.  Yes, I was GROUCHY the whole time.  Could I stick to it for the whole 40 day cycle.  HELL NO!  I think the most I lasted was about 15 days.  By the end of that my husband was like, it's me or the HCG....OK not really, but almost.  Alli, Relacore, Slim Fast, Slim Quick, Fastin.... take me down a "weight loss aid" aisle at almost any drugstore, I can tell you I have tried it all!  They all work, while you are taking them.  The second you forget to take one (which happens to me ALL THE TIME), you gain, and gain, and gain... til you are right back where you started.  Please say no to these!  I promise they don't work in the long term!

You have to work for what you want!  You don't get to sit on your butt at home watching TV and draw a paycheck (or at least not most of us...LOL), right?  You don't get to ring a little bell and have your maid bring you your drinks, dinner, come prop your feet up, right?  No.  You have to get off your butt and do something to get the things you want!  Same principle here.  You have to go to the gym (or home gym), you have to eat right, you have to work hard!  I have lost about 15 pounds now in the last 2 months.  Which is averaging about 2 pounds a week (even though some weeks more than others...), which is a healthy rate at which to lose.  Everyone keeps telling me, the slower I lose it, the longer I will keep it off.  They may think they are helping when they say that, but again.... me being an instant gratification person, if it takes me too long to lose it in the first place, it may not COME OFF!  I am looking at this and trying to tell myself that as long as the scale moves down, it doesn't matter how fast.  I am hoping that keeps working!  It has so far.  I have pretty much kept on track.  Been working out consistently, been eating much better than I used to, and getting better at the portion control.  Still a work in progress, but it is working!

Baseball practices and games should be starting soon.  I am hoping that I can still get to the gym on those nights, my husband is coaching, so if I leave the boys with him, hopefully I can still get my workouts in...on nights I plan on walking, I can do that at the park....  Just gotta make it work.  There are other people busier than me that can make it to the gym, just have to make it a priority and not let things get in the way!  

Hope everyone has a wonderful week.  See ya tomorrow!!

 

Day 54-282 pounds

Down a bit from yesterday!  This has been a good week!  Even with not making it to the gym those two nights because of kid activities!  I have not been feeling the best this week, but my appetite has been about the same.  My hands were a little swollen this morning, but they are down now.  Down so much that my rings are all loose.  

I still have trouble with the portion control.  I am pretty good when I am at home, or if I bring something to work with me, but my problem lies with eating out.  Fast food is not so bad, try to order a salad or grilled chicken then take it home.  But when I go to a restaurant, take today for example.... went to a Mexican restaurant.  The bad thing is the dang chips and salsa.... The salsa is great, but the chips are so bad.... you can see the grease dripping off some of them!  Why is it so hard to say no?  Just because it is right there in front of you face, I guess.  So I had some chips and salsa, and a taco salad, which again-not horrible- but of course I ate the whole thing.  I don't know on the calorie count, but I'm sure it was way too much.  And now, my stomach is rolling.  It's like it is revolting against the food.  Telling me that I am an idiot, and why did you eat so much?!?  I will get the hang of this.  I know alot of "dieters" suggestions are to get a to-go container before you even start eating, put half of the entree in there, and out of sight.  I have said I was going to do this, but then when I get there, and order, I just eat... I will get this right eventually.  Hopefully, my indulgence today will not hinder the progress I have made this week.  I will kick myself in the behind, for punishment as well as to just move me forward.  I can't dwell on this, even though I know it was wrong.  I will move on, make good choices, and learn portion control and healthy eating!  Just hard to get out of the habit.  Even if it does make me feel physically horrible after.  I just don't get that!  

 

We don't really have any plans this weekend.  I am just an unorganized person.  I have meant to get recipes in order, plan out meals, get my coupons sorted (to save money, of course), but that hasn't happened.  I am making it to the gym every day, so I have gotten into the habit of that.  I just haven't really had the motivation to do any of the other stuff I had on the to-do list.

I am hoping everyone has a wonderful weekend.  I will try my very best not to ruin the good thing that has happened this week.  I would love to be in the 270's by Monday!  What a great day that would be!  

  I have begun, therefore I WILL SUCCEED!! 

Day 53-282.8 pounds

Down another whole pound since yesterday.  YAY!!  I haven't been retaining water like I had been.  Last week and before, I would wake up and my hands almost hurt because they were so swollen.  This week has been different.  I wake up and they are NORMAL!!  Not sure what the difference is, haven't really been doing anything different, but...


Worked out with a friend last night.  She is kinda like me when I first started, very self conscious about going to the gym and working out beside the fit people.  I told her that you can't think like that, you just gotta get in there and do what you need to do for you.  I have been going to the gym consistently for almost 2 months now, and have never had the feeling that someone is watching me, or if they are watching me, it's not in a negative way.  The other people don't care what you look like.  They are there to their thing, you have to be there to do yours.  That's what matters.


I have been pretty good with my food choices.  I have girl scout cookies someone gave me, and I should have said no, should have given them to someone else, but I just can't.  So I have been eating them, but I have been sticking to the portions listed on the box.  Everything you might want is acceptable, as long as it is in moderation.  That is the hardest thing to learn for me.   Normally, I could sit down with a box of Caramel Delights (Samoas) and eat the whole thing in one sitting.  Who knew that a serving size is ONLY 2 COOKIES?!?!  I have learned to read labels, watching the calories, fat, and sodium for the most part.  I have to remember that I am not super-human, I will make mistakes.  You cannot dwell on that.  You have to forgive yourself and just move on.  That's what I have never done in the past.  I ruined a diet, so I quit the diet.  I ate bad for one day, or one meal, and just gave up!

We all deserve to be fit and healthy.  We all make our own choices and those choices decide how we live.  Do you want to live life on the sidelines?  I have two growing boys, who are VERY active.  I love watching their games, but I would love to be able to help them practice.  I don't want to live on the sidelines anymore.  I want to be a mom that my kids can tell their friends about.... my mom (and dad, of course) took us on an awesome hike, or.... my mom & dad played catch with us for hours, or.... you get the drift!  


If you are not working for something you want, then you don't deserve it.  You have to know your own worth.  I want this goal so bad, and I will work my tail off to achieve it and maintain it.  I deserve to be fit.  I will WORK to be fit.  

I want to be the person I am inside.  I want to be the person my husband tells me everyday that I am (he sees it, I believe him, but don't really feel it...).  My husband has loved me through thick and thin.  Mostly thick, as even when we started dating I was overweight.  He has always told me I am a beautiful and sexy woman.  And I am glad that is what he sees.  Because I would never want him to see me through my eyes.  But I am gaining the self worth, I am gaining the self-confidence.  It is nowhere near perfect, but it is better than it was a year ago.  I haven't been "fit" or "skinny" since I was in grade school (like 2nd grade), so I don't know what I CAN look like.  At the end of my journey, no matter what the scale says, I will be proud of what I have accomplished.  I will eventually be "FIT", even if the scale doesn't go as low as my expectations.  


It is a gorgeous day in the Ozarks today.  Hope everyone can get outside and enjoy the weather.  Another round of scooter soccer for us tonight.  Have a great day!  

Day 52- 283.8 pounds

Down about 1.5 pounds from yesterday.  This is a good sign!  Unfortunately I am not feeling the best today.  I think this gorgeous weather we are having is messing with my sinuses.  My nose is stopped up, my eyes are heavy.  Took all I had to get out of bed this morning and get moving!  Taking some over the counter sinus medicine, so hopefully that makes it all better.  My husband asked if I wanted to skip the gym tonight because I was feeling bad, and I told him no.  I had seen a picture on Pinterest that I was trying to find to post, but it eludes me.  It says, "don't just workout on the days you feel well" or something along those lines.  Even though I don't feel the best, I still want to go.  It makes me feel good when I go.  Also, skipping two days already this week for the kiddos kinda scares me!  So I will trudge along!

I am going to keep this pretty short today!  Just a quick update on how things are going, and I already accomplished that in the previous paragraph!  LOL

I have gotten so many suggestions from people trying to help.  Did a callout on my facebook the other day about needing recipes, and have some great things to search on and try out!  One that sounds very intriguing is the skinnygirl.com.  I have seen some things in the store and online about this site (she also has cookbooks, etc), so I am excited about searching for things I already make, but can make healthier for me and my family.  

Today is a new day.  Rejoice and be glad in it!  Tomorrow is not promised, so do everything in your power to make yourself proud of YOU today!  You are in control of what you put and don't put into your body.  You make YOU!

 

Day 51-285.4 pounds

Down a bit from yesterday.   Probably all the crap I ate getting out of my system.  Did better yesterday, still munched on some girl scout cookies, but I stopped myself at 3.   That was a ginormous feat!  

Not going to be able to go to the gym 2 nights this week.  Our boys have scooter soccer tournaments on Tuesday and Thursday nights.  If you have never witnessed a scooter soccer tournament of school aged kids, I invite you to come if possible.  They are great fun to watch (most of the time).  That event is almost as sacred as football here!

But anyway, not going to the gym those nights kinda scares me.  I have a workout dvd I can do at home, but don't get the "sweat" that I do when working at the gym.  I am going to definitely have to watch what I eat the next few days, so those days of no gym time don't catch up to me!

This is something my trainer gave me, as my fitness prayer for my journey.  I made it pretty!  And already 12 people have reposted it on Pinterest.  It's doing alot of good, Robin!  Thanks!!

 

I am trying my best, and I have to remember sometimes that may just not be good enough.  Sometimes those bad decisions overcome you.  Still my decisions, but sometimes the devil wins, as with other things in life.  I will take this past lump with the best of the worst.  I will train my body to crave carrots instead of cookies.  I will do my homework, I will find those recipes that will make my choices much easier.  Those are things I have to do to get what I want.  If you do the things you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten.  I haven't watched what I ate and I got fat.  I am watching what I eat, changing what I eat, and will get the healthy and fit body I know is hiding behind this fat!

 I am done taking the easy way out.  I will try my hardest to not go through the drive-thru because I don't feel like cooking.  I will try my hardest to choose healthy at home and out.  I won't promise I won't choose wrong, but I do promise to make the better choices more often!  

  Your body is a temple.  You should take care of it, feed it to fuel it, not to waste it.  I will have to remember that!  I am really paying the price for the Chinese food I ate yesterday.  My stomach feels like a garbage disposal today.... not good!

Well, I hope everyone has a wonderful day!  It is a gorgeous one here in the Ozarks!  60's for tomorrow!  What a great February!

Thanks for all the support.

 

 

Day 50- 287 pounds!

So, I am writing this ever so humbly, as I have gained 2 pounds since Friday.  I have not stuck to my diet.  I have went to the gym, that hasn't stopped.  I got in trouble by my trainer on Friday when we met with her for Andy's appointment.  I had stopped sending her my food at the end of the day (the accountability circle) and then she read my blog and my eating habits over the last several days and such.  I got called on it... and she made me promise to never stop trying.  And I won't.  I'm sure I will fall off the wagon again.  Sometimes you just want a Dorito (LOL Robin).  I just didn't think it would happen so fast.  I am only a month and a half into this.  I had been doing so well.  

 

This failure is done.  I am working on my triumph from this moment on.  Just like any other addiction, this one will have moments of relapse.  I can't be the only one who finds it difficult to eat (or not eat) a certain way all of the sudden.  All I can do is own up to what I have done, which is eaten poorly and in the "old ways" and not counted my calories and made the right choices.

I just wish it were easier to remember how I feel after I eat things I am not supposed to.  Not only the mental feelings of guilt and such, but the physical feelings, ie. stomach pain, fatigue, etc.  I think what would help me out (even just a little bit) is more education and information on cooking healthy.  We don't eat alot of vegetables at my house, never have, even when I was a child.  I need to "go to school" on what vegetables are better for me, and will feed my family, without them (and me) feeling like I am being punished and made to "eat your vegetables"!  I know there are good for me and great tasting ones out there, I just have no idea what they are!

 I haven't accomplished much in my life.  I am a mother to two of the best boys ever and they are the pride and joy of my life.  I am married to the most wonderful man there is, and he makes my days happier.  But I only finished one year of college.  I haven't really made a career for myself, but have had several jobs that I have liked and loved.  I don't have any savings to speak of, I don't have a lot of material possessions (which of course is not really important).  I have been happy and I have been sad.  I currently am happy, and satisfied in my life, even healthy for what I weigh.  I am not happy with my weight, I am not happy with the way I look, and now is the time for change.  I will follow through on this goal.  I will finish this feat I have taken on.


I know I have let alot of you down, but that is nothing compared to the contempt and disappointment I feel for myself.  I will keep on trucking!  Keep following, I promise there will be greater loss, as I build confidence in myself!

Day 45- 284.8 pounds

Down even more from yesterday.  YAY me!  Here is my food from yesterday:

Homemade McMuffin & coffee: 405

Turkey sammich, lime tostitos & 8oz can dr. pepper: 430

(1) Butterfinger snack size: 180

Sonic- Grilled chicken sammich, Ched 'R Peppers & Ranch: 880

Total for the day 1,895.  Yes I caved.  Forgot to lay something out for dinner.  Needed to get something out.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE SONIC CHED'R PEPPERS!

Still splurged... but still not WAY over my calorie goal.  And still down from the day before!  That is not an excuse to eat that way every day.  Just saying that we all can have what we want.... in moderation.  STOP STARVING YOURSELF!!  I find myself with more energy and more "fullness" when I eat food, and not thee shakes I was doing.  Still eating the same amount of calories, but just not the shakes.  I still do a shake now and then when I might be crunched for time or something.  I also had tried to do 5 small (300 calorie) meals to total my 1500 for the day.  That works so great for some people.  But not for me.  I am SO used to eating 3 times a day, so I just make my meals larger (with some snacking available in between) for my total.  

I have said this before, that I am a big fan of the TV show Biggest Loser.  Last night they were training a contestant and wanted to find out why she was the way she was... not only heavy, but also sometimes rude, defensive, etc.  She was talking about how bad her childhood was, parents got divorced, dad had a drug problem, etc.  My parents got divorced when I was 7.  My biological father had nothing to do with me and my older brother for years and years.  I was 18 when my biological grandparents contacted me to visit with me again.  Talk about rough.  But that's not what made me self-conscious.  That's not what made me fat.  This hints along the emotional eating post from before.  We all have issues, some more than others.  Some deal with it differently.  I am not saying that is not her issue on the show, but this season is titled "NO EXCUSES." So buck up, lose the weight!  

The ISSUES is not what makes the WEIGHT PROBLEM.  

The WEIGHT PROBLEM is the ISSUE. 

Not saying losing weight will solve all the problems.  But it will get you healthy enough to deal with the problems.  

I may have a new workout partner starting next week.  A friend of mine will be joining the gym, and possibly working out the same time as me.  Which is great!  Hope she is ready, I will dish out some punishment like Robin dishes out to me! LOL

Hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day.  This journey is a daunting task, but when I have my husband at my side, my biggest fan and supporter, it seems like a much smaller task.  I love you, Andy!

I know this week is the start of the downward spiral that won't end.  Before this point, I have been pretty lax in my diet.  And even though I splurged a bit, I still kept it near my calorie goal.  Before, I might have eaten smaller portions, but still ate lots of stuff.  I was basically dieting only on weekdays.  This week is the end of that mentality.  I am worth more than working my butt off only to cheat myself out of the pounds.

  

Day 44- 285.6 pounds

Definitely thinking I was retaining a BUNCH of water.  I lost 1.5 pounds in one day!  Need to stop munching on the packaged stuff and stick to more natural stuffs... too much sodium!  I didn't make it to the gym last night.  We got some snow, and was afraid once it got dark, it would start melting, and I would be skating home.  So I did some of the exercises I could at home.  I don't really have that many weights (or the right ones), so I did what I could.  But will definitely make it there tonight.  I haven't been since Saturday! 

I find myself in need of positive thinking, not only from myself but those around me.  There are those that no matter how hard they try, whatever they say still comes out negative.  I try to ignore remarks that are negative and just delete them from my memory... there are some though, that are hard to delete.  I try my hardest to stay positive about EVERYTHING that happens in my life, not just the weight loss.  Even though there are times when money is short, or something breaks that can't be fixed, or something doesn't go the way we had planned or wished for.  Negative thoughts creep in sometimes, no matter how hard we try to avoid them.  So, chin up... and if the negativity bug creeps up on you (kinda like the flu), please keep it to yourself!

I have a couple recipes I will post today.  I haven't tried them myself, but will definitely be trying them this weekend.  The first is for a Buffalo Chicken Sandwich.  I love wings, but of course the breading and ranch or blue cheese I dip it in is not really included in the diet plan.

Buffalo Chicken Sandwich (here's the link: http://cookthis.menshealth.com/recipes/cook-buffalo-chicken-and-blue-cheese-sandwich?cm_mmc=CTNTNL-_-802762-_-02042012-_-body)

1/4 cup crumbled blue cheese
1/2 cup Greek-style yogurt
Juice of half a lemon
Salt and pepper to taste
4 chicken breasts (6 oz each)
1/2 Tbsp chili powder
1 red onion, sliced
3 Tbsp favorite hot sauce (Frank's Red Hot works best here)
2 Tbsp butter, melted in the microwave for 20 seconds
4 large romaine lettuce leaves
4 sesame buns, toasted

How to Make It:
*Preheat a grill or grill pan. While it's heating, combine the blue cheese, yogurt, and lemon juice, plus a pinch of salt and pepper. Stir to combine, and set aside.
*Season the chicken breasts with salt, pepper, and the chili powder. Add the chicken to the hot grill and cook for 4 to 5 minutes the first side, then flip. Add the onions to the perimeter of the grill (if using a grill pan, you'll need to wait until you remove the chicken to grill the onions). Cook the chicken until firm and springy to the touch, another 4 to 5 minutes. Remove, along with the grilled onions.
*Combine the hot sauce and butter and brush all over the chicken after removing from the grill. Place one large leaf of romaine on the base of each bun. Top with a chicken breast, the blue cheese sauce, grilled onions, and then the top half of the bun.

Makes 4 servings
387 calories
15 g fat (5 g saturated)
912 mg sodium

I cannot wait to try that one!  The other one is for Banana Bread Protein Muffins.  Supposedly they taste just like delicious banana bread (one of my faves!!), but have no flour or sugar!

Banana Bread Protein Muffins (Link: http://www.dashingdish.com/2012/02/banana-bread-protein-muffins/)

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup ripe banana (about 1 small banana)
• 3/4 cup egg whites
• 1/2 cup plain low fat greek yogurt (I used plain Chobani yogurt)
• 3/4 cup oats (use gluten free if sensitive to gluten)
• 2 scoops vanilla protein powder (I used Designer Whey, or  you could use any flavor you would like!)
• 12-14 packets stevia (or 1/2 cup sweetener of choice)
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray muffin tin with non-stick cooking spray, or line with silicone or foil liners, (spray liners if using). 2. Place all of the ingredients in a blender, (or food processor), and blend until mixture is smooth. 3. Divide mixture evenly between 12 muffin tins. Bake for 15-18 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean.
(Note: be sure to use either silicone or foil liners with the paper insert removed because they will stick, as does any muffin made with oats rather than flour!)

So here is my food from yesterday:
Homemade egg mcmuffin and coffee: 405
Turkey sandwich, lime tostitos, 8oz. can of dr. pepper: 430
Chicken stir-fry: 265
Cereal & milk: 342

Total: 1,442

I will try to post my food everyday.  I am already sending my food for the day to a couple different people.  Keeps me accountable, and they can send suggestions if I didn't do so well...

I will hopefully be at the gym tonight, should be no reason not to be...  My back is a little sore today, kinda feels like I have pulled something or maybe just slept on it wrong.  Just really stiff.  I keep trying to stretch it out, and doesn't seem to be getting any better.  But again, I haven't been in the gym since Saturday.  

 
And it has been YEARS!  I will have to be more strict about my diet.  I stuck to under 1500 yesterday, and of course I wasn't hungry in between.  Just have to weigh the possibilities.  I drank more water yesterday than I think I normally do.  I haven't really been keeping track, just trying to drink it all the time.  But my lips were dry yesterday, and I thought to myself that wasn't a good sign.  So, I probably drank 8- 8oz. glasses yesterday.  Lips are still a bit dry today, but that's probably from dehydrating myself.... silly girl!

So, that's it for today.  On a side note, my page has gotten over 1,000 views since the first of the year.  I find that most amazing!  Keep reading and keep sharing.  Hopefully I will get better at this as the year progresses!  :-) 

Day 43- 287 pounds

Yes, up from Friday... :'(  But down just a bit from last Monday.  I did wake up this morning, with my hands so swollen my rings wouldn't come off.... so let's blame it on water weight.  Of course, that's just an excuse, and probably not the real reason.  But it makes me feel better today, so let's roll with it!

I have been having a bit of trouble with my knee.  Unfortunately, I think it is due to the Zumba.  It makes me move my legs (and knees) in ways that they don't really want to move.  I had some trouble with it week before last (first week) and just brushed it off as it was a new movement.  This past week though, I had some "catching" going on, and with each "catch" some pretty severe pain.  I have talked the feeling over with Robin, the trainer and my husband, and have come to the conclusion (reluctantly) that the Zumba will have to take a backseat to the rest of my workouts.  I don't really seem to have trouble doing my weight training, but when I try to walk (even just at the store and such), it is painful.  It is feeling a bit better today.  I have been babying it over the weekend, and trying not to push it too much.  I just don't want to go to Zumba and have it start hurting again, and then not be able to do the rest of my stuff.  I really enjoy the Zumba, and will go back, but have to get my knee better and stronger before doing so.  

I am committed to the weight loss goal I have set for myself, and if one exercise makes the goal unobtainable (as I can't do anything else), then that has to be put on hold for awhile.  I also have been pretty lax in my calorie intake.  I know I have not been posting what I eat, but probably need to get back to that.  I have a goal of 1500 calories a day, but have been eating about 1600-1750 almost every day.  I met with Robin at Anytime on Friday.  I have lost 6 pounds by her calculations and over 5 inches, since the last time we met.  Which is awesome!  She asked me if I was happy with the results.  I said I was happy, but not satisfied.  I am happy there is a decrease.  I am not satisfied, because as heavy as I am, I should have lost more.  So, she talked with me about "cleaner" eating.  Which I haven't really been doing.  Also talked about limiting carbs after about 2-3 p.m.  So, some great input on what I could be doing to lose more/faster.  Also, did another exercise routine, and it really kicked my butt!  I am still feeling the effects of that workout today!  Hopefully the change will kickstart the loss again, and I can add some more stones to my "happy" jar!  

I have gotten much farther on this journey than any other I have started in the past.  The past journeys have been kinda half-assed (so to speak).  I try wholeheartedly in the first week or two, but when I have only lost 3-4 pounds in that time, I give up.  Since I am back up, my total weight loss is only 9 pounds, but I won't give up this time.  I have too many expectations to meet.  Mine, and other people's.  I have too much to live for to spend another day unhealthy and fat!  I have mountains to go, but have started by climbing the hills.  

I am disappointed in myself.  I am trying, but not trying hard enough.  I need to stop trying and just start DOING!!  There is no reason I should not have a smaller amount than the day before, every day I step on that scale!  

I am working hard on my willpower.  I am working hard on my attitude.  For years, I just didn't care.  I was a very healthy overweight person.  I have no high blood pressure.  I have no issues with diabetes.  I have no heart problems.  The problem is....ALL THESE ISSUES RUN IN MY FAMILY!!  If I don't change my ways, very shortly I will probably have developed all of these conditions.  I want to live to be 100 (may not happen...), and living to be that age, I don't want the burden put on someone else to take care of me.  The time is now to change, before I can't turn back the clock on those conditions.  

I won't say I haven't had a Dr. Pepper, because I have.  But I can say, is that I only have one when I do consume.  I haven't had any sweet tea (which was the drink I kept in the house when there was no soda) since the first of the year.  I have tried not to deprive myself of anything, as if I do, I will gorge on it at a later time.  I have had chips, I have had cake, I have eaten out at fast food.  I just try to make the best choices I can, and try to keep it in my calorie goal (which I have for the majority of them).

This is such a change from my previous habits, I am still getting used to them.  If you have any lower-carb recipes (for dinners, mostly) that will feed a whole family (some of them picky eaters), please send them to me!  I could really use the help.  Again, I just want to thank everyone for all the encouragement you have been giving.  It really does help to motivate me.  I am doing this for myself, but when I gain or stay the same, I feel like I am letting down more than just me.  Keep it coming!  

 

Day 40!! 285.2 pounds

Same as yesterday, but that is OK.  Worked out last night and struggled just a bit.  Seemed I didn't have the strength on some of the exercises.  I finished them, but for some reason seemed a lot harder to do so.  My knee was giving me some trouble last night.  And what is unusual about it is that when I am doing my side lunges (bending at the knee) I am fine.  It was when I went back to walking to cool down, it seemed like it wanted to lock up on me.  It was hurting a bit, so was only going to my quick cool down of 5 minutes on the treadmill, but I had a step where it felt like it was going to buckle, so I stopped and just stretched.  I was only about 2.5 minutes into my walk.  I think it might be my Zumba class.  There are some really quick foot movements in some of it, and I have a hard time because of my knees, they just don't move that fast.  Plus, I need the "dancing" tennies, so my feet slide more instead of sticking to the floor.

I meet with Robin this afternoon after work.  We will measure again and weigh, and see what has happened over the last 2 weeks.  Going to be a quick blog today.  Went out to lunch with the hubby to Taco Bell, ate off the Fresco menu.  Wasn't the best...LOL  

Hope everyone has a great weekend!  I will maybe have some time this weekend to go through some recipes so I can post some of those starting Monday!  That's the plan, anyhow!  Oh, and to file my coupons (those are a mess!!).  See ya later.  If I can get back on here later, I will post how my training session (and the MASSIVE inches lost) went!  

Day 39-285.2 pounds

Down just a little from yesterday, but I am sure that is due in part to all the "junk" I ate yesterday.  We had so much pizza leftover from work, I took some home and that's what was for dinner.  Still was within my calorie goal, but ate processed and "dirty" food, so.... I need to remind myself every day this:

I normally do remember this, but it's after I have already eaten what I shouldn't have.  Why is it, even though you KNOW you aren't going to feel good after you eat a certain thing (or too much of a certain thing), that you still eat it?!?  And just because you can have 3 1/2 pieces of pizza and a piece of cake in one day and still be under your calorie goal, doesn't mean that is what your body needs to feel good, to lose weight, and to be fit.  I could just be a soda junkie, and drink 10 Dr. Pepper's a day, and reach my calorie goal, but you can't live off soda alone! (Unfortunately...LOL)

Went to Zumba last night with the girls from work.  Was much more fun this time, as we (sorta) knew the moves and could just dance, instead of worrying about how much of a spaz we looked like.  I think I need a pair of "dancing" sneakers though.  All the quick foot movements make my knees hurt because my tennis shoes stick to the floor...

I meet with the trainer on Friday to learn a new workout, that way I can change on and off and don't get too repetitive.  I am putting in the work, I am hoping to see some results on paper when I weigh and measure!

I feel a little out of sorts today.  Can't really explain it.  I just don't feel like myself.  I feel pretty good, no hurting, or soreness (or none more than normal), I had a slight headache, but that is probably from the overload of carbs yesterday.  That is the only thing I can think of for my mood.  


I found a recipe for a "Sleep Slim Smoothie", I believe is by Dr. Oz.  Supposedly this smoothie is good not only for helping you sleep, but for helping you burn more calories while you sleep.  I thought I would share.  I haven't tried it yet, but if you do before I do, let me know how it goes!

Sleep Slim Smoothie

1 cup tart cherry juice

1/2 banana

1/2 soy milk

5 ice cubes

1/4 tsp pure vanilla extract

Blend till smooth.

Again, I haven't been to the store, so I haven't tried it yet, but I normally have a slight issue sleeping well, and if it burns more calories while I am sleeping more soundly.... well WHY NOT!?


Another night at the gym.  Tonight will be the weight training, then a new routine tomorrow!  Have a wonderful day!

Day 38-285.8 pounds

So, I was super excited this morning when I stepped on the scale, and it was TWO pounds lighter than yesterday!!  YAY!  I had a great workout last night.  I always feel as if I have accomplished something when my hair is dripping by the time I walk out the door.  I meet with the trainer on Friday.  She is going to change up my workout routine, so I don't get "set in my ways".  Which is good.  Whatever is going to help keep the pounds coming off.  I have a habit of going to the gym now.  It is just what I do.  It is part of my schedule.

A lady posted yesterday on our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/283540928345313/ that she finds the motivation to workout difficult to achieve.  I posted that once you make it a habit, there is no motivation to go, you just do it, the motivation you need is to finish.  And that is pretty easy.  Once you are in the gym and working out, you don't want to stop in the middle.  At least I don't.  Sometimes I don't want to see "people I know" there, as they sometimes want to stop and talk (as I do myself, sometimes), but when I am working out, I just want to keep on, don't want to stop in between or in the middle of my stuff.  

 

You have to be willing to fight for what YOU want.  My trainer also commented on my post from yesterday stating that she always feels some sort of guilt for not being there sometimes for her kids, even if they are busy....I am hoping to become fit, so I can be active with them....not in the gym busting my butt.  There will be plenty of time for the gym, it will be a habit and on the schedule for many many years to come.... but when it's time to play or be there, this gives me the chance to do that.  The guilt is there, but I know it will be better in the long run.

Today is not a good day at the office food wise... we have a birthday celebration and a farewell celebration all wrapped into one.  So there was cake, and cupcakes and pizza.  I had a slice of cake, and two pieces of pizza.  They are tracked into my calorie counter and will be part of my calorie intake for the day.  Normally, I would have had a piece of cake, a cupcake, and then several pieces of pizza.  Today, again it was the cake, and once slice of thin crust veggie lovers, and one slice of pepperoni.  The pepperoni was more calories than I really wanted to give up.... but dang it tasted SOOO good.  All that means is I have to watch really close what I eat later today, as I only have about 500 calories left.  But I am so full right now, I can't even think about eating for HOURS!

 

I did want the pizza and it was in the moment.  But it is figured into my calories.  I don't deprive myself if I do want something in the moment.  I just have to figure out if that fits in with the rest of the day... If I had already eaten most of my calories for the day, and had pizza sprung on me at the end of the day, I wouldn't have had any.  The choices we make define us.  My choices are better now.  Choices of better food, less food, and more movement!

I do have a plan for this blog... it's just waiting for me to get organized enough to get it on here.  I will be posting recipes at some point in time.  Recipes for the "everyday" and recipes for special occasions.  I was talking with Ashley at Anytime Fitness, and she is right there with me.... working hard to feed her family "good for you" things and still be a mom, with sports practices, and wrestling meets, and dance recitals, etc.  So, recipes will be coming... again when I get motivated and organized enough to do so!  LOL

I write this normally on my lunch, so time is of the essence.  I have only a short period of time to write, and find the photos I want to post.  I try to keep it short most days, as I know alot of you don't have all day to be on the computer reading, but enjoy catching up.  I thank all of you for your support!  All the comments and suggestions are GREAT!!  They keep me motivated.  I read somewhere the other day, you are more likely to lose weight if you keep your goals quiet... I disagree.  You are what keeps me motivated.  My kids keep me motivated.  My husband keeps me motivated.  

Thanks for everything!

 

 

Day 37-287.6 pounds

Weight is the same as yesterday.  Again, I am disappointed.  I have to do something to change my way of thinking.  I have always been that instant gratification person.  I have nothing in my savings account.  I don't wait for the rainy day.  I want what I want, when I want it!  How do you change that mindset??  


I have never been great on willpower.  
If I want a piece (or two) of cake, I had it.  
If I wanted two (or three or four) slices of pizza, I had it.  
If I wanted two (or ten) Dr. Pepper's a day, I had it.  


Well, this is it!  I have HAD IT with this!  I am ready for the change, so I am just going to have it, do it, achieve it!

Are you ready for the change?  
What did I get when I had that cake?  ADDED POUNDS
What did I get when I had that pizza?  ADDED POUNDS
What did I get when I had that soda?  ADDED POUNDS 


What am I trying to do now?  Lose those pounds and get healthier.  What did they actually get me?  Less years, health concerns, and self-loathing.  WHO WANTS THAT?!?

I agree with the above statement, but for some of you, it is hard to believe it about yourself.  You may say this, you may post it on Pinterest or Facebook.  But do you believe it about YOURSELF?  I don't yet.  But I believe it a little more than I did last month.


"The week" is making me a bit emotional!  I am so disappointed in myself for not having more self control over the weekend.  I am angry with myself for allowing those calories to be consumed by me.  I felt so horrible yesterday. I felt like I needed to get sick.  I felt my stomach rumble, because there was so much stuff crammed into that it was no longer used to!  I was on the verge of calling into work because of it.  I was sluggish.  I was bitchy.  I was sad that I let that happen.  I thought I had been so strong.  


For us moms, it is horrible and hurtful when we let our spouse or our children down, but OK when we let ourselves down?  How is that right?  Why are we playing second fiddle in our own life?  Now is the time to take charge.  Now is the time to be healthy.  And if that means by kids are home alone for another hour before I get there, then that's not really OK, but it's going to have to be for now.  They understand my journey.  We talked to them before we started it.  It does upset me that I don't get home until almost 6:30 or 7:00 sometimes, but for now, I would rather take that extra hour, and give myself the gift of a workout, so I can give them their mother for many, many more years.  

My eyes are set on the goal.  There are ALOT of stones left in the "pounds to lose" jar!  But there are SOME in the "pounds lost" jar.  I will make it, and so will you.  


I am sure I will have another relapse sometime down the road.  The difference between now and a year ago, 2 years ago, 10 years ago.... is that I will regain my footing on the path I have made, and not just wander aimlessly in that relapse.


Hope everyone has a blessed day!  

Day 36- 287.6 pounds

Up some more over the weekend :' (  I am trying not to stress over it too much, but it kinda makes me feel like all the hard work I am putting in is not helping, and not worth it.  But that is the negativity taking over.  Sometimes as much as I try not to be, it's just too much!  


Skipped the gym on Friday, so we went on Sunday morning.  Andy and I both really couldn't get into our workouts.  He said, it's like my body knows that we take this day off.  I agreed.  Even though mine was just a cardio (mostly walking) I still was struggling through it, and was just pushing to get it over with.  It is normally not like that.  

That has to be my focus.  I have to remember why I am doing this.   I have to remember that no matter which way the scale moves, as long as I am moving, I am making myself better and more fit.  This weekend was kinda rough.  I didn't measure, but thought I was eating about the right calories, and such.  Sunday was not good.  Had the party.  Ate too much.  Knew I was eating too much.  Went right ahead and did it anyway!  I know there will be setbacks, I know I will "fall off the wagon."  It's what I do.  It's what I have always done.  The difference between now and then, is that then.... I would stay off the wagon. Today I will get back on!

So, I have failed, but am still trying.  Will continue to try, and hopefully succeed.  My hope is that this "uppage" is due to being a woman (which sucks SOOO bad at times, I wish guys understood!) and that in a couple days, I will have a great "downage!"


I am meeting with Robin (the trainer) again on Friday, and she will weigh and measure me again.  I am hoping for some big numbers lost!  I have been working my tail off, and hopefully the tape shows it!  The jars seem to be working, but I can't bring myself to put stones from the pounds lost jar back into the pounds to lose jar.  I have already lost them once, and I will lose them again, this time at a steady pace, and not yo-yo!

Other than that, I don't really have any news.  Nothing exciting going on.  I normally keep to myself and my husband and kids.  Which keeps my "drama zone" clear for the most part!  It makes it lonely sometimes, but when my family is happier that way, then that's the way it has to be!  


On a lighter note, I am looking for tattoo ideas.  I thought about getting this as a wrist tattoo:

but am now kinda wanting a tattoo symbolizing this "journey".  I have seen alot of foot tattoos saying "one step at a time" or something like that, but I am not really a foot person.  I have one on my foot, but not many people, including myself, see it alot...LOL.  So anyway, if you have something interesting or have an idea, let me know...


Hope everyone has a great week!  This is the start to some great trasformations!