Monday, February 6, 2012

Day 36- 287.6 pounds

Up some more over the weekend :' (  I am trying not to stress over it too much, but it kinda makes me feel like all the hard work I am putting in is not helping, and not worth it.  But that is the negativity taking over.  Sometimes as much as I try not to be, it's just too much!  

Skipped the gym on Friday, so we went on Sunday morning.  Andy and I both really couldn't get into our workouts.  He said, it's like my body knows that we take this day off.  I agreed.  Even though mine was just a cardio (mostly walking) I still was struggling through it, and was just pushing to get it over with.  It is normally not like that.  

That has to be my focus.  I have to remember why I am doing this.   I have to remember that no matter which way the scale moves, as long as I am moving, I am making myself better and more fit.  This weekend was kinda rough.  I didn't measure, but thought I was eating about the right calories, and such.  Sunday was not good.  Had the party.  Ate too much.  Knew I was eating too much.  Went right ahead and did it anyway!  I know there will be setbacks, I know I will "fall off the wagon."  It's what I do.  It's what I have always done.  The difference between now and then, is that then.... I would stay off the wagon. Today I will get back on!

So, I have failed, but am still trying.  Will continue to try, and hopefully succeed.  My hope is that this "uppage" is due to being a woman (which sucks SOOO bad at times, I wish guys understood!) and that in a couple days, I will have a great "downage!"

I am meeting with Robin (the trainer) again on Friday, and she will weigh and measure me again.  I am hoping for some big numbers lost!  I have been working my tail off, and hopefully the tape shows it!  The jars seem to be working, but I can't bring myself to put stones from the pounds lost jar back into the pounds to lose jar.  I have already lost them once, and I will lose them again, this time at a steady pace, and not yo-yo!

Other than that, I don't really have any news.  Nothing exciting going on.  I normally keep to myself and my husband and kids.  Which keeps my "drama zone" clear for the most part!  It makes it lonely sometimes, but when my family is happier that way, then that's the way it has to be!  

On a lighter note, I am looking for tattoo ideas.  I thought about getting this as a wrist tattoo:

but am now kinda wanting a tattoo symbolizing this "journey".  I have seen alot of foot tattoos saying "one step at a time" or something like that, but I am not really a foot person.  I have one on my foot, but not many people, including myself, see it alot...LOL.  So anyway, if you have something interesting or have an idea, let me know...

Hope everyone has a great week!  This is the start to some great trasformations!

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