Monday, February 13, 2012

Day 43- 287 pounds

Yes, up from Friday... :'(  But down just a bit from last Monday.  I did wake up this morning, with my hands so swollen my rings wouldn't come off.... so let's blame it on water weight.  Of course, that's just an excuse, and probably not the real reason.  But it makes me feel better today, so let's roll with it!

I have been having a bit of trouble with my knee.  Unfortunately, I think it is due to the Zumba.  It makes me move my legs (and knees) in ways that they don't really want to move.  I had some trouble with it week before last (first week) and just brushed it off as it was a new movement.  This past week though, I had some "catching" going on, and with each "catch" some pretty severe pain.  I have talked the feeling over with Robin, the trainer and my husband, and have come to the conclusion (reluctantly) that the Zumba will have to take a backseat to the rest of my workouts.  I don't really seem to have trouble doing my weight training, but when I try to walk (even just at the store and such), it is painful.  It is feeling a bit better today.  I have been babying it over the weekend, and trying not to push it too much.  I just don't want to go to Zumba and have it start hurting again, and then not be able to do the rest of my stuff.  I really enjoy the Zumba, and will go back, but have to get my knee better and stronger before doing so.  

I am committed to the weight loss goal I have set for myself, and if one exercise makes the goal unobtainable (as I can't do anything else), then that has to be put on hold for awhile.  I also have been pretty lax in my calorie intake.  I know I have not been posting what I eat, but probably need to get back to that.  I have a goal of 1500 calories a day, but have been eating about 1600-1750 almost every day.  I met with Robin at Anytime on Friday.  I have lost 6 pounds by her calculations and over 5 inches, since the last time we met.  Which is awesome!  She asked me if I was happy with the results.  I said I was happy, but not satisfied.  I am happy there is a decrease.  I am not satisfied, because as heavy as I am, I should have lost more.  So, she talked with me about "cleaner" eating.  Which I haven't really been doing.  Also talked about limiting carbs after about 2-3 p.m.  So, some great input on what I could be doing to lose more/faster.  Also, did another exercise routine, and it really kicked my butt!  I am still feeling the effects of that workout today!  Hopefully the change will kickstart the loss again, and I can add some more stones to my "happy" jar!  

I have gotten much farther on this journey than any other I have started in the past.  The past journeys have been kinda half-assed (so to speak).  I try wholeheartedly in the first week or two, but when I have only lost 3-4 pounds in that time, I give up.  Since I am back up, my total weight loss is only 9 pounds, but I won't give up this time.  I have too many expectations to meet.  Mine, and other people's.  I have too much to live for to spend another day unhealthy and fat!  I have mountains to go, but have started by climbing the hills.  

I am disappointed in myself.  I am trying, but not trying hard enough.  I need to stop trying and just start DOING!!  There is no reason I should not have a smaller amount than the day before, every day I step on that scale!  

I am working hard on my willpower.  I am working hard on my attitude.  For years, I just didn't care.  I was a very healthy overweight person.  I have no high blood pressure.  I have no issues with diabetes.  I have no heart problems.  The problem is....ALL THESE ISSUES RUN IN MY FAMILY!!  If I don't change my ways, very shortly I will probably have developed all of these conditions.  I want to live to be 100 (may not happen...), and living to be that age, I don't want the burden put on someone else to take care of me.  The time is now to change, before I can't turn back the clock on those conditions.  

I won't say I haven't had a Dr. Pepper, because I have.  But I can say, is that I only have one when I do consume.  I haven't had any sweet tea (which was the drink I kept in the house when there was no soda) since the first of the year.  I have tried not to deprive myself of anything, as if I do, I will gorge on it at a later time.  I have had chips, I have had cake, I have eaten out at fast food.  I just try to make the best choices I can, and try to keep it in my calorie goal (which I have for the majority of them).

This is such a change from my previous habits, I am still getting used to them.  If you have any lower-carb recipes (for dinners, mostly) that will feed a whole family (some of them picky eaters), please send them to me!  I could really use the help.  Again, I just want to thank everyone for all the encouragement you have been giving.  It really does help to motivate me.  I am doing this for myself, but when I gain or stay the same, I feel like I am letting down more than just me.  Keep it coming!  


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