Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Day 12 of 90

Ok, so I am going to stop counting the days into the year I am, and right now focus on the days I am into the 90-day challenge.  Gets too confusing the other way.

I haven't weighed since last Thursday.  New weigh-in day is 2 days away.  I am really concerned about it.  I have some extra things weighing on my mind these days, and Sunday my good food choices were nowhere to be found!  Hubby and I were both just feeling the need for junk.  I don't really know what it was, but just ate a bunch of stuff I didn't even want, and of course they were horrible choices. 

I have said in the past that I don't normally eat emotionally, but I think this is the exception to my rule.  I don't know what it has been here recently, but with stuff going on in our lives, I have been a bit more stressed than normal (especially since I am really good at letting things roll off my back, not worrying about a whole lot, just a "what will be, will be" mentality!)  Not only have I not been eating properly, I have not been exercising, and making up almost any kind of excuse not to... which makes for a grouchy, exhausted Billie.  Not good! 

I am in such a self-loathing state of mind right now.  I am hating myself for letting myself fall back into the no-workout routine.  I loved going to the gym, and it was part of my routine at the first of the year... now it seems I can't hardly get the energy to walk around the ball field a couple times.  And it is nothing but the fact that I am not exercising.  I still feel great taking the shakes.  I have not hunger pangs, just making bad choices.  They fill me up completely, and have not been craving anything (well except for Sunday, just had a hankerin' for junk then...).  I still get to eat normal food, so I am not depriving myself of anything.  I just don't get it. 

This is probably why me working out at home has never worked out.  Because I find reasons not to.  I have all kinds of workout videos at home, just never seem to a) get them done in the first place or, b) continue them on a routine basis.

Well, I hope things get better.  This stress stuff is for the birds! 

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