Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Day 72-282.8 pounds

I'm baaaack!  Already to day 72.  Does not really feel like it has been that long.  Last week was a bad one!  Was sick and exhausted almost all week.  Much better now.  Still have a few sniffles hanging on, but much better!  I was afraid I totally wrecked my progress last week by not weighing and counting my calories.  But I haven't weighed or counted since about last Monday, so I did alot better than I thought!  Down a bit from last week, so that is a good thing!  I haven't been to the gym for over a week as well.  And I am feeling it!  My back has been KILLING me for the last several days, and I am sure that missing the gym is why.  I have tried getting it popped back in, because it was out at one point, but now it just aches.  That is a horrible feeling.  I was getting used to not having my back hurt, but since the gym has been out for a while, it has gone back to that.  I DO NOT MISS THAT AT ALL!  And it's crazy, because for so long it has been an everyday thing.  My husband would ask me what is wrong, I would tell him nothing after awhile, because it hurt every day... it wasn't anything wrong.  I was used to that being a part of my life.  But I was going to the gym, and the pain has subsided more than it has endured, and now I had forgotten how bad it does hurt sometimes!  

So, I am counting and weighing again, as of today!  Sorry for the hiatus, I am sure I was more disappointed than you! LOL

I need to get into making goals for myself.  Right now, I just have the ultimate goal of being healthy and hopefully getting down to 160 by year end.  I made a small goal last month or so, and it didn't get fulfilled, so I kinda got discouraged.  But I need to get back into it.  I need to make some smaller goals for myself, and then work toward reaching those, and not worrying so much on the bigger goal.  I have a goal (at some point) to do a 5k... I would like to reach 10% of my body weight gone (haven't really counted, so not sure how much that is)... I would like to reach a certain size in clothing (but that is for further down the road)... several things are there to reach, but I need to set them and reach them, and not just hope for them!

 This is a very cool idea.  Put a list of things you want to accomplish into a pile (or bucket), and then reach in and choose one, or just go down the list, etc.  I will see if I can find something to make one of my own.  Also, motivation is the key.  Keep something in your mind's eye that you want, and that will motivate you to get it.  Thinking negatively will only get you negative things.  I found this on Pinterest, and thought it was very funny.  I don't advise any of you to do it, unless it would keep you from overeating or midnight snacking...LOL

 My husband and some of my friends get upset with me when I say I am fat, or joke about being overweight.  But if I don't laugh about it at times, it is just depressing.  So many things I can't do because I am overweight.  So many things I don't feel like doing because I am overweight.  I have been (as I have said SO many times on here before) overweight all of my life.  I don't really know anything else.  And through the years, I have learned that if I can't be "light" about my weight, then there probably would have been alot of depression throughout the years.  So many people used to make fun (mostly in school, earlier years), but by the time I was in jr. high or high school, I was to the point that it didn't matter what you said, or what you thought.  I was me, and me was overweight.  No point in  making fun.  It didn't get a rise out of me.  I was over letting it get me down.

I am tired now of it "getting me down".  It has gotten so much more than just my spirits down at my age.  It is getting my body down, it is getting my mind down, it is getting my family down.  I have no energy to do anything, and I am only 32 years old.  It's not getting me down anymore!  I choose to make the difference, and the only regret is that I took so long!

 You have to love yourself.  And if you don't... whether it is your weight, your hair color, your job, your friends, etc... it is up to YOU to change it!  Keep doing the same thing you have always done, you will keep getting the same results you have always gotten!


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