Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Day 86- 279 pounds!

So far this is the lowest I have been.  I think I got down to 279.6 before, but I can't keep track.  I have hopped back up on the wagon, and hope to stay there for a very long time.  I know I can do this.  I have so many people that have faith in me, I should have faith in myself.  But that is SO HARD to do, when I have been one of those people who have never had alot of self-esteem.  But it is slowly building.  I think once you have lived with obesity your entire life, you get used to it, you don't think of yourself as "that overweight" or "too big."  I looked at my before photos (which are still saved on my phone, so I can look at them when I feel the need) and thought, WOW, do I really look like that??  The answer was YES YOU DO!  I watch the Biggest Loser religiously, some of those women weigh what I weigh or a little more/little less....and I honestly have thought to myself, even though they weigh EXACTLY what I weigh, I don't look like that.  The response to that is....YES YOU DO!!!  Do something to change it!

This is not about a diet anymore.  This is about a life change.  And I can change it at my pace.  I want it done now, but know that is not going to happen.  So, I vow to make small changes that will change my life for the better.  I want to be happy with my self, I want to be healthy for myself and my family, I want to be energetic with my kids, and hopefully be energetic with my grandkids, I want to FEEL as sexy as my husband thinks I am, and I want to be the person on the outside that I am on the inside!

I went to the gym last night.  I only made it through two rounds of my circuit exercises, and 25 minutes on the treadmill.  By the end of that I was out of breath and exhausted.  It has been awhile since I have been in there working out everyday like I had been, so it is going to take a day or two to get my stamina back up.  I understand that....but I don't have to like it!  In the next several months, it is going to get crazy.  We have baseball practice every Wednesday and Saturday morning, and then when games start we will have games 2-3 nights a week, plus a Saturday practice.  I am going to have to start walking outside at the park, or find a video I can do at home.  Because some nights, I am just not gonna be able to make it to the gym.  And that scares me!  

Quesadillas last night were a hit, as always!  I have posted some pictures of pizza I had a while back that was very good too, and the kids love that as well.  I haven't even made out my menu for the rest of the week, so I can't tell you what is for dinner tonight, but part of me getting up and out to the gym, is also going to have to be getting up and off the couch at home.  There are things I can do besides sit and watch TV or read.  I have a vision board to make, and recipes to try!  Slow changes, just bear with me!!

Hope everyone has had a chance to enjoy the beautiful weather we are having here in mid-Missouri.  It is gorgeous out, just wish I wasn't sitting at a desk for most of the day!

 Make the right choices!  Or at least try to!  
Try your best, and you never fail!

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